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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Give The Void Its Colours, Owing To Certain Complications... Vol. 1, Maintaining Dignity In Awkward Situations, Inhale... Exhale... OK, Now You Can Panic!, and No One's Fault But Your Own.
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Some People Just Don’t Know When To Quit
It’s hard, I guess
To have the courage to admit that you’ve missed
The golden opportunities which stared you in the face
(Which stared you in the face)
Apologies, they are not needed
When you already have people’s sympathies
But when to quit?
Boy, that’s the tricky bit
And some people just don’t know
Some people just don’t know
You know that some people they just don’t know when to quit
You know that some people they just don’t know when to quit
Really, what’s the point of digging your own burial plot?
When you can’t afford a headstone or spare a second’s thought
About a witty epitaph
And what would it say?
“Here lies Keith M Thomson
He enjoyed being a slave
For other peoples fortunes
Yes, he might have failed, but at least he did not quit”
Some people just don’t know
Some people just don’t know
You know that some people they just don’t know when to quit
You know that some people they just don’t know when to quit
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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2. |
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Putting The Mental Into Sentimentality
I was unusually nostalgic recently
For the time when it was allowed
To wallow in my own misery
These days it is impossible to feel down
Without some bugger empathising
Or ‘knowing what you mean’
I used to think that I was special and unique
I was proud to be a loner
(i.e. socially inept and kind of weak)
But things do change in the unlikeliest of ways
Everyone I meet these days
Is depressed or deranged
It could be my aura
It could just be my age
Either way it’s kind of strange
How everybody has the same
Everybody has the same
Everybody has the same problems
The same problems as me
It came as just as big a shock to me
It isn’t in my nature to think about these things
The beauty of self-obsession is
You don’t have to worry about
Or feel the need to compete
I used to think that I was special and unique
I was proud to be a loner
(i.e. socially inept and kind of weak)
But things do change in the unlikeliest of ways
Everyone I meet these days
Is depressed or deranged
It could be my aura
It could just be my age
Either way it’s kind of strange
How everybody has the same
Everybody has the same
Everybody has the same problems
The same problems as me
Coincidental? Incidental?
It’s not you… It’s me!
You would have to be mental
To want to put the mental into sentimentality
Things do change in the unlikeliest of ways
Everyone I meet these days
Is depressed or deranged
It could be my aura
It could just be my age
Either way it’s kind of strange
How everybody has the same
Everybody has the same
Everybody has the same problems
The same problems as me
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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3. |
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Nice Things Happen When You Stop Complaining
I’m trying hard not to be cynical
I’ve read my fair share of health magazine articles
On how to turn my life around in thirty days or less
Using only the power of positive thinking
About how to save my time and how to save my money
How I won’t get either back if I kill myself with worry
I must say, I have very high hopes for next month’s issue
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
I am sold when I am told
There’s nothing like a lie to help you get you through your life
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
I’m not sure what vitamins I’m missing
But pointless proverbs keep popping into conversation
There’s a strange comfort in super market wisdom
How I got through life before you is a mystery
My future is bright with you
It’s very clear to me
I simply can’t afford the price of not resubscribing
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
I am sold when I am told
There’s nothing like a lie to help you get you through your life
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
I am sold when I am told that
Nice things happen when you stop complaining
No more tears, no more tantrums
No more dummies thrown from my metaphorical pram
No more panic, no more melodrama
In the future I’m gonna be calmer than the Dalai Lama
No more angst, no more sinking
No more politics after I’ve been drinking
No more fussing, no more whining
No more envy when someone else’s star is shining
No more sarcasm, no more sniping
No more last points, no more back-biting
No more comments like ‘no more nice things’
Because nice things happen when you stop complaining
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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4. |
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You’ll Thank Me In The Morning
You've run out of money
You've run out of luck
It's gone beyond being immaterial
Which one you ran out of first
Yes, everybody has their own problems
And sometimes it's a matter of fate
But I'm sure you know it won't help you by drinking
Like someone's gonna take it away
You’re gonna thank me in the morning
You’ll thank me in the morning
You’re gonna thank me in the morning
You'll thank me 'cause it's hard to apologise
You used to be the definition
Of 'the life and the soul'
But now by your own admission
Your tastes have taken their toll
But it has never ever stopped you from leaving
Any night before it did end
But then you never had someone who could call you a cretin
In other words someone you could call a friend
You’re gonna thank me in the morning
You’ll thank me in the morning
You’re gonna me in the morning
You'll thank me 'cause it’s harder to apologise
There's a good chance that you won't remember
Exactly what it is that you've done
There's a better chance
That I will remind you
How much of an arse you are when you're drunk
You’re gonna thank me in the morning
You’ll thank me in the morning
You’re gonna me in the morning
You'll thank me in the morning
You'll thank me 'cause you can’t apologise
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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5. |
Up To My Neck In A Hex
04:26
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Up To My Neck In A Hex
I used to be logical and carefree
Narrow-minded maybe?
I was proudly cynical
Sceptical, yes, but happy
I would laugh in the face of sappy superstitions
But now I'm not so confident
I used to doubt almost everything without
First fretting uncontrollably over unlikely outcomes
Now every action does result
In nothing less than a catastrophe
If you think that you can help me now’s your chance
I'm ready, I'm willing
To step away from the pain of superstition
You’ve guessed it
I am desperate
I'm up to my neck in a hex
Which can't be broken or repaired
Please no laughing or quiet sniggering
Down your noses at my tricky new predicament
My luck just ran out when I started to doubt
If I have any control over anything
I sacrificed a reasonably nice life
I had it all and more
Until a stupid old wives’ tale sent me flying off the rails
Now I'm teetering between two worlds
(Reality and fiction)
I'm ready, I'm willing
To step away from the pain of superstition
You’ve guessed it
I am desperate
I'm up to my neck in a hex
Which can't be broken or repaired
I no longer find it funny when a black cat passes me
Or a mirror breaks in my bathroom
And nothing makes me madder
Than people walking under ladders
I feel nauseous when someone speaks too soon
Ridiculous, I know
Ludicrous, I know
But I'm trapped and I can't get out
If you think you can help me, try
If you think you can help me, try
If you think you can help me, please do try
I'm ready, I'm willing,
To step away from the pain of superstition
You’ve guessed it
I am desperate
I'm up to my neck in a hex
Which can't be broken or repaired
I am eager to concede that
I may have lost all sense and reason
Life did change when I did cave in
Now I'm up to my neck in a hex
Which can't be broken or repaired
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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6. |
I've Got This Friend...
03:59
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I’ve Got This Friend…
I’ve got this friend and he’s really at the end
Of his wits and of his tether
He betrayed his raison d'être
With a need, nay, a compulsion
To believe his own assumption
That he’s doomed to hearing voices
Telling him politely to
‘Behave, boy! You might lose everything, eh, boy?’
I’ve got a pal who was happy for a while
Drinking himself into the relative comfort of denial
Yet he still claims to be a pragmatist
Which is normal for a fantasist
But his sense of logic stretches only
To what is and what is not painful
Melodrama can be so painful
I’ve got this friend who I’d love to try and help
But he insists on not accepting the mildest compliment
I’ve got this friend…
He’s gonna be the death of me
I’ve got this friend who I’d dearly love to help
But I just wish he would listen to a single word of sense
I’ve got this friend…
He’s gonna be the death of me
I’ve got this chum who won’t acknowledge all he’s done
Is make his life just that bit harder
By ignoring those around him
Yes, their platitudes and clichés might be really rather irritating
But at least it is a sign that they still give a monkey’s
About your problems
Your real and imagined problems
I’ve got this friend who I’d love to try and help
But he insists on not accepting the mildest compliment
I’ve got this friend…
He’s gonna be the death of me
I’ve got this friend who I’d dearly love to help
But I just wish he would listen to a single word of sense
I’ve got this friend…
He’s gonna be the death of me
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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7. |
Half An Alpha
03:31
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Half An Alpha
You are just trying to help
Which is perfectly commendable
But sometimes a person can try just too damned hard
Neither brainy, dumb, brawny or particularly weak
You fall into that bracket that is somewhere in-between
It’s not easy for you to let someone else lend a hand
You’d be kind of cavalier, though, not to admit
That it borders on the plain serendipitous
To have a friend who can mend
A broken heart or a skew-whiff shelf
But please note that just because you have your uses
Doesn’t make you any less of a nightmare or a nuisance
Because 5 times out of 10 you make an awkward scene 10 times worse
Half an alpha
Half a tender, modern man
It must be harder
Being both the yin and the yang
Half a blessing, half a curse
But being neither would be worse
Half an alpha,
You have it twice as hard as most
You eat Belgian chocolates in your souped-up car
You read The Guardian supplement behind a Daily Star
You drink Remy Martin from a warmed brown paper bag
There is nothing you like more than a good French farce
TV debates on culture are a pain in the…
Art is something to be seen and never to be discussed
Half an alpha
Half a tender, modern man
It must be harder
Being both the yin and the yang
Half a blessing, half a curse
Being neither would be worse
Half an alpha
You have it twice as hard as most
So let’s not make no bones about it
You’ve been hammering my home with your own style of counselling
Whether I needed it or not is irrelevant
You are brash, you are loud, consistently beleaguering
But you fitted this cold house with central heating just by being with me
A metaphor it pleases me to know that you will understand
Half an alpha
Half a tender, modern man
It must be harder
Being both the yin and the yang
Half a blessing, half a curse
Being neither would be worse
Half an alpha
You have it twice as hard as most
Half an alpha
Half a tender, stand-up bloke
It must be harder
It can’t be easy being both
Half a blessing, half a curse
Being neither would be worse
Half an alpha
You have it twice as hard as most
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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8. |
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Hypochondria Is Not An Illness
Everybody has a line that shouldn’t be crossed
You have paid scant regard towards mine
You have needled
You have prodded
You’ve metaphorically brought me to the brink
I’m in a twist and round the bend
On more than one occasion
I’ve been tempted to relieve you of your ailments
With a pillow while you sleep
For no good reason you wake up everyday
With something new to kill you which sadly isn’t me
Hypochondria is not an illness
Though it’s something you may be pleased to know you have
It’s not something you can justify the squalid house you occupy
By saying you’re too sick to tidy up
For no good reason you remind me how you feel
Every hour on the hour ‘psychosomatic fear’
On more than one occasion have I reached for a blunt object
And swung it in the direction of your weak and stupid head
Is it blood, is it pain,
Is it misery you want from me?
Just tell me ‘cause I’m ready and I’m happy to oblige
I’ve heard you complain that you’ve got every disease A-Z
It’s genuinely beginning to grind me down
Is it wrong to wish you really had an illness?
Is it wrong to wish you’re suffering more than me?
If I had to choose an illness for you it’d be laryngitis
But I’m the only one who’s sick here
And I’m only sick of you
Is it blood, is it pain
Is it misery you want from me?
Just tell me ‘cause I’m ready and I’m happy to oblige
Is it blood, is it pain
Is it misery you want from me?
Just tell me ‘cause I’m ready and I’m happy to oblige
Is it blood, is it pain
Is it misery you want from me?
Just tell me ‘cause I’m ready and I’m happy to oblige
I’ve heard you complain that you’ve got every disease A-Z
And it’s genuinely beginning to grind me down
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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9. |
Downright Lazy
03:40
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Downright Lazy
I convinced myself a long time ago
That I’ll never know
What it means to be an alpha-anything
A self-help reader, devout atheist or a blind believer
But I can’t help but wonder where I might have been
Had I not ceased to be an irritating over-achiever
In a sense you could put it to me
That I’ve betrayed my cautious roots
With an untypical false sense of economy
But everybody has a reason, has a motive, an excuse
Everybody’s had a plan they just could never execute
Everybody has a right
Everybody has a right sometimes to just be downright lazy
I convinced myself that I have never felt older
It could be my clothes, but it could just as easily be my odour
I still think I can get away with innocently flirting
It’s just a shame I’m overweight and over thirty
I convinced myself I’d rather
Stick pins in my eyes than further my career as a professional
Or socially expand my horizons
Beyond what I already know
They say it’s not what you know
It’s who you know
I convinced myself that an awkward silence
Is better than resorting to unnecessary violence
It’s good to get through life without a bone being broken
I still maintain it’s always good to keep your options open
But everybody has a reason, has a motive, an excuse
Everybody’s had a plan they just could never execute
Everybody has a right
Everybody has a right sometimes to just be downright lazy
Everybody has a right sometimes to just be downright lazy
Everybody has a reason, has a motive, an excuse
Everybody’s had a plan they just could never execute
Everybody has a right
Everybody has a right sometimes to just be downright lazy
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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10. |
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This Conversation Is Officially Now Over
It didn’t take too long to figure you out
(He doesn’t suffer fools, why would he suffer you?)
But I found it rather curious
That you seemed surprised
(Don’t worry, boy, it’s only slightly personal)
I conclude you’re just being rude now
For the sake of being rude
Amusing for a little while
It soon became apparent why
You’re lonely and you miss your mum
You’re someone only a mum could love
I just don’t have the time to waste
You have no defence
I told you once I won’t tell you again
That there is no chance in hell
We’ll be acquaintances far less be actual friends
Now retreat back into your self-inflicted misery
It drags me down to think, I bought that little shit a drink
(He doesn’t ask for much, so we’re quite impressed you fucked it up)
I could kick myself sometimes for being quite so trusting
It’s no surprise I feel let down
While there’s pricks like you around
I often get the urge to purge
This world of surly drunks
But worse than that I feel I’m caving in
To a general intolerance
Which is really not in my nature
You have no defence
I told you once I won’t tell you again
That there is no chance in hell
We’ll be acquaintances far less be actual friends
Now retreat back into your self-inflicted misery
I just don’t have the time these days
And I just don’t have the inclination
No defence
I told you once I won’t tell you again
That there is no chance in hell
That we’ll be acquaintances far less be actual friends
Now retreat back into your self-inflicted misery
This conversation is officially now over
Words and music written by Keith M Thomson
(c) 2013 All rights reserved
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The Penny Black Remedy London
The Penny Black Remedy are a London based band renowned for their energetic live shows and for their unique musical fusion of many different genres, including Folk, Americana, Punk and Ska. At the band's core is Keith M Thomson and Marijana Hajdarhodžić. TPBR have released three albums and plan to release the first of two compilations of acoustic recordings, studio outtakes and demos in Oct 2020. ... more
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